Children cry. A lot.

Babies are born crying. It's their only way of verbalizing their demands or desires. There are five original cries: the hungry cry, the tired cry, the I'm-uncomfortable cry, the I'm-in-pain cry, and the burp-me-please cry.

Slowly, surely, words are learned and then used to express what they need and want. In the process there are tears. Many tears. Tears of anger, frustration, sadness, disappointment, and fear.

One of the common misconceptions with children is that crying and tears are bad. Crying and tears aren't all bad! Simply a part of their growing-up process. I've noticed that their melt-down moments will reflect their development and maturity. Two-year-olds can't communicate or reason as well as six-year-olds can, hence, two-year-olds cry much. more. often.

I've had four children within six years. That goes to say that there has been a whole lot of crying in the last 6+ years!

There is a certain amount of patience and grace I extend to my children when the tears are fresh and falling. However, when it's time for them to calm down and "dry it up," most children don't know how! They need to be taught. With that being said, three years ago I started having them "smell the flower and blow the candle." Essentially, they needed to breathe! Over and over and over again.

The next time your child is crying and needing to calm down, give them the task of smelling the flower and blowing the candle. Let them hold a fake flower and an *unlit* birthday candle. Have them take a deep breath through their nose (smell the flower) and then let it all back out through their mouth (blow the candle). Feel free to breathe with them. You may notice that both of you will calm down and you will be able to gracefully address the situation that started the tears in the first place!

*From time to time, go ahead a pick up a bouquet of flowers for yourself from the store and light one of your favorite candles. Smell the flowers and make sure you blow out your candle - just take your time doing both.