Regret
Sighing, I turned my gaze back to look out the dining room window. Everything was very much brown and bare - bleak like I felt. Even the bird feeders were empty and I added that to the list of my “to do’s.”
The avocados are brown. Too brown, I thought to myself. And Josiah never got to eat them.
I sighed again……
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Time is a trickster! It has this way of moving about in hyperdrive and in slow motion - all at the same time.
I’m aware that I have another 15 years until my youngest turns 18.
I’m aware that my hands are full and I’ve got quite a lot of mothering left to do!
I’m also aware that somewhere along the way, I blinked, and became this mother of four children! How and when did that happen!? (It feels like it was only yesterday when I was riding on the back of my boyfriend’s motorcycle and we were kissing by moonlight!)……
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Hearing someone talk about their round at motherhood with a sad, faraway look in their eyes leaves my heart aching a little.
Regret does that though. It’s an emotion that Google defines as to feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity).
And when you stop and think about it, we all (at some point or another) have experienced a missed opportunity. And those missed opportunities have the potential to weigh on us - heavily. And some carry the weight of regret around with them for years and years……
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