The definition of fog (according to Google) is quite simple. It’s a thick cloud of tiny water droplets suspended in the atmosphere at or near the earth's surface which obscures or restricts visibility.
But the feeling of fog is quite surreal. It’s cozy with a slice of eerie to it. And it’s what I woke up to on Wednesday morning last week.
I had stayed up late and woke up early to spend some quiet time with Jesus. With just the sound of a fresh pot of coffee brewing, my cat, Charlie, purring on my lap, and the sound of the furnace keeping the house at its overnight 65-degrees, I sat in our Great Room and looked out the window. The sun hadn’t yet crested our timber’s ravine, and I felt like I had the entire world to myself. Well, to myself and Charlie, that is.
The fog was nothing but “a thick cloud of tiny water droplets suspended in the atmosphere,” but the science behind it wasn’t able to put words to its beauty.
I found it breathtaking.
I couldn’t see through it, but I could certainly peer into it. And for the next several minutes, I sat there and peered - enjoying the stillness and comfort of its eerie embrace.
Yes, I sat and peered into the fog. And as I sipped on my coffee and ate my cinnamon-raisin toast, I attempted to focus on reading my Bible. Yet as I stroked Charlie’s soft fur, I remembered a time where the word fog had taken on an entirely different meaning…
My family and I were living in Tulsa, OK…Broken Arrow to be exact. We were there for one summer - attending a missionaries’ training school. We attended school in the mornings and then my dad worked in the afternoons for a guy named Ken Keener. Now Mr. Ken - who owned and operated an upholstery business - was the first Christian man my dad had ever worked for and was excited about the things of God. So much so that I remember my dad coming home for supper one night - tired after a full day but with a certain twinkle in his eyes… I overheard him telling my mom about his day and sharing a story of Ken scaring him by abruptly asking, “Brad! Are you walking in the F.O.G…in the ‘favor of God’??”
This may be as cheesy to you as it was to me, but sometimes the cheesy things stick! And this one did - a moment of a memory from over 20 years ago.
You see, fog and Motherhood have a lot in common…
Motherhood has this way of pulling us into the deep, dark waters. Whether you’re a good swimmer or not, you’ll soon find out when handed a baby - fresh from the womb - and hear the doctor say, “Congratulations. It’s a tiny human! Good luck on keeping him/her alive for the next 18+ years. You’ll need to teach them everything they’ll possibly need to know and when you’re through, you had better hope and pray to God that you did a good enough job for them to survive this dog-eat-dog world!”
Now, my doctor didn’t say all that. He just smiled and said how good I did at pushing, but theoretical doctors will say all those things to brand-new moms.
And very quickly - I’d say immediately - we sink into the deep end and become lost in the fog. Lost in the nursing schedules, the bottle cleanings, the innumerable diaper changes, the loads and loads of soiled laundry, the potty-training, and the patience testing. Lost in the teaching of manners, etiquette, and what is appropriate table-talk and what is not.
And if you were to add another baby to that, you’ll find yourself entering yet another layer of the fog’s darkness that “obscures and restricts visibility.”
And with every baby added and year gone by, a solid ten years could pass before you can successfully pee in private or hop out of the shower before someone needing you. Time by yourself or for yourself might be a foreign concept, but as your children age and mature, you will have realized that not only is self-care important - but also essential in being the best version of yourself.
And for me, this August will mark an entire decade of being in the fog of Motherhood! And now that the fogginess is beginning to dissipate, it’s like I can see again - breathe again. I’m able to have more and more adult conversations and interactions. I get to go more, do more, see more, and travel more. And though that excites me, I know with certainty that the last ten years wasn’t time lost or time spent in vain.
Not even one tiny bit.
When you think about it, a person is only lost if they don’t know where they are and how to get back home. And this feeling of being lost in the fog isn’t the only side to the story.
It turns out, I haven’t been lost in the fog, but hidden. Hidden for my children to see.
It was like we had our own little secret club - and I happened to be their Guest of Honor. It was there where I had a front row seat to every single, possible milestone there ever was - the first roll-over, sit-up, crawl, walk, and word.
And in that hiddenness, I’ve personally taught all 26-letters of the English alphabet - accompanied with all 132 special sounds - to two of my children so far! Hearing them read to me day after day and week after week is…well, awesome.
Laying academics aside, the spiritual aspects that I desire to impart to my children are happening, and I smile at the fruit I’m seeing. Yes, there is fruit to mothering with patience and grace, and with purpose - on purpose!
Now, I’m nowhere perfect, but I am often on my face before the Lord - seeking wisdom, asking for discernment, and praying for grace and yes…favor in my mothering!
I want to give Mr. Ken a call and answer the question that he asked my dad all those years ago: Are you walking in the F.O.G. - in the favor of God?
To which I’d enthusiastically say, “Yes! I’m walking in the F.O.G.! It’s all over my life and ministry! It’s over my marriage, my family, my mothering, my writings, my speaking…even my running! And not only am I walking in the F.O.G…I’m lost in it!”
You might wonder why I would answer so confidently… Because I’m that amazingly good!?
No! Because my God is that amazingly good!
And let me tell you that same favor that I’ve found myself lost in can be bestowed upon you as well!
So while I was sitting in our Great Room last Wednesday morning - and peering into the dense fog that was “suspended in the atmosphere at or near the earth's surface” - I stumbled across a Scripture. It’s one that I started praying over my life years ago, and I challenge you to do as well:
May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us;
establish the work of our hands for us--yes,
establish the work of our hands.
Psalm 90:17