It was a Sunday morning and I needed to be at the church by 8:15 a.m. My alarm had woken me up three hours before, and I was in the process of making chocolate milks for the road, brushing the tangles out of my daughter’s golden-brown hair, and dressing my three-year-old, Titus, in an outfit that could weather his storm.
It was in between pulling his shirt over his head and hearing the microwave chime - notifying me that his chocolate milk was warmed and ready - when Titus asked me for some cereal. Specifically Froot Loops.
Now, we don’t typically have Froot Loops found among our other cereal boxes. We like to reserve those super-sugary cereals as treats for when we are staying in hotels or at Grandma’s house.
But for whatever reason, there was a box in the house that morning. And when Titus asked for his “Froot Roops” so sweetly, I stopped for a full 15-seconds to take him in.
He sat there on top of my kitchen counter - with his sleepy face and disheveled hair (that I had yet to brush) - and looked up at me with his big, brown eyes, and smiled.
It was the kind of smile that makes you realize that they know that they own you.
Now in those 15-seconds my reasoning said If I give him a bowl, he will be happy now and grumpy later. If I don’t, he will be grumpy now and happy later.
I knew exactly what the rest of the morning would look like by starting the day with 12g of sugar in a cereal bowl. I knew that saying ‘yes’ was the easiest route - but not necessarily the wisest.
Yes, I knew all of that.
However, when he asked me again, and this time with even more intentionality and sweetness…I caved.
Going over to the kid drawer, I quickly pulled out the first two bowls I could find - one blue and the other Disney’s Frozen (complete with pink glitter and a picture of Elsa and Anna on the bottom).
Now, in our rush to get out the door on time, I gave Titus the Frozen bowl and his older brother the blue bowl. My reasoning was that Elsa and Anna had a much sturdier base - making the potentially-spilled cereal mess far less likely.
I poured the cereal and milk, slid both boys their bowls, and encouraged them to eat quickly so we could go. I then ran from one end of the house to the other to finish getting ready. It was from my bathroom where I realized that Titus wasn’t sounding very happy. In fact, he was crying.
I returned to the kitchen to discover that he wasn’t hurt and nothing had spilled - he just didn’t want the bowl I had given him. In fact, he wanted to trade bowls with his brother.
Now Josiah had already started eating his cereal, and on the principle of “We get what we get and we don’t throw a fit.” I decided that Titus' bowl would just have to suffice.
“Titus, it’s ok…go ahead and eat your cereal,” I said.
Titus continued to cry and so I urged him, “Titus, your cereal is yummy! You need to stop crying, and eat your cereal so we can go!”
He had yet to take a bite, so I thought I’d help him… “Here you go, Titus, take a bite!”
Nope. He refused. In fact, he cried even harder - and with more determination.
At this point, we were flirting with an even deeper issue. I let him know that I wasn’t going to give him the blue bowl, and that if he didn’t stop crying and eat his cereal, he was going to run out of time to eat it.
His response?
“I just want to cry.”
We finished the scramble of getting everyone’s shoes on, grabbing coats, and loading and strapping everyone into the van.
And in my final sweep of Did I forget anything?, I grabbed the bowl of cereal that had by then turned into colorful mush, and threw its contents into the garbage.
Not in anger. Not in frustration. Just in a sad awareness of the lesson the Lord had just taught me…
Now, you may laugh at this story, but truth be told, there is a little three-year-old in all of us. Yes, all of us (at some point in our lives) have sat and cried - refusing the blessing that was right in front of us because we failed to recognize it.
If Titus could have only gotten over the fact that his Froot Loops were in a different colored bowl than what he wanted, he could have enjoyed all 12g of their sugary goodness!
Instead, he opted to sit and cry - refusing to take a single bite - and his cereal ended up going into the trash.
As I drove to church that morning, I had to wonder how many times the good, good Father had given me something for my enjoyment - even a special treat like Froot Loops - and my own sin nature that likes to debut in selfishness and entitlement had forfeited the opportunity of the blessing.
How many times have we sat and whined saying, “I just want to cry!” because we couldn’t get over the fact that things looked different than what we had expected or anticipated?
I’m sure it’s safe to say that we’ve all pitched a few fits because something didn’t end up looking like the way we wanted it to. When in fact, the blessing was right there in front of us the whole time! And in the end, we squandered it.
How sad!
The biggest area in my life where I find myself constantly keeping myself in check is with the realization that children who live in a home will constitute for a large amount of mess.
I joke that children ruin our lives in the best way possible! The Bible says it this way: “Without oxen a stable stays clean, but you need a strong ox for a large harvest.” (Proverbs 14:4)
And I want to make something clear… I have prayed for every one of my children! Yes, my husband and I have intentionally and purposefully added to our family. And yet, the more and more babies we have brought home, the more work I have heaped upon myself!
And yet, I prayed for it! I asked for it! Truth be told, I wanted the Froot Loops…just not in a pink, glittery bowl.
But unfortunately, you can’t have one without the other, and Motherhood’s packaging oftentimes comes loud, messy, inconvenient, demanding, and downright exhausting!
So when I find myself in the middle of my mess - with marker marks on the walls, poop on the carpet, smudges on the windows, and Legos all over the basement floor, I tell myself this: I will not complain about the very things I asked God for.
This is my way of saying, I will be thankful for the blessings that are right in front of me! And in doing so, I find myself obeying the Word of God:
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Yes, I will choose to be thankful - even when the blessings of God come in a different colored bowl. Even if I am sleep-deprived and am feeling less than patient… Even if it seems like every surface and room in the house has spat up… Even if my children haven’t been getting along lately… Even if I’m struggling to get all my work done on time… Even if it looks a little different than what I expected or anticipated…
Yes, even then, I’m going to thank God for the Froot Loops in my bowl!
Especially when I’m given my older sister’s glittery-pink Elsa & Anna bowl when all I wanted was the blue one.
Yes, especially then.