Opening the door from the garage to the house, I walked into the short hallway to the kitchen. The mess of the garage had found its way into the house as well! Clothes and shoes were strewn all around the living room, and there were blankets and pillows all over the couches. Dishes were in the sink, on the counters, and on the coffee table too. I noticed crumbs, spilled ice cream, and crushed leaves on the floors. It was quite the welcome……
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Rather Spectacular
I was invited to go. In fact, we all were. And my husband and I spent a fair amount of time talking about and wrestling through the decision of me staying home this year with the younger two and new puppy. There were a handful of other variables at play, and I was 100% a part of the conversation and decision-making process. In the end, wisdom maturely said, “Not this year.”
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Sweet Like Sheet Cake
Titus was feeling some pretty big feelings and was weathering the emotional crash that typically follows big celebratory days - like birthdays or Christmas or even the 10-year anniversary party of our church that his daddy had planted……
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Brown Avocados and a Letter M
Sighing, I turned my gaze back to look out the dining room window. Everything was very much brown and bare - bleak like I felt. Even the bird feeders were empty and I added that to the list of my “to do’s.”
The avocados are brown. Too brown, I thought to myself. And Josiah never got to eat them.
I sighed again……
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Never Done Before
The truth was my dad could have done his homework by asking the right questions and buying the right materials to do the mosaic himself, but that wasn’t what he wanted. My dad was requesting my creative thumbprint left on the front entryway floor of his home.
He purposely left that space bare because he wanted me to do a mosaic. The only thing was…I had never done anything like that before……
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Comforted by Mourning
I was completely blind-sighted by the pain that she would feel. But that’s life. We can’t always predict how certain people are going to take certain things.
I was at the kitchen sink, doing the dishes Saturday night when my daughter arrived home with her dad and her older brother. I noticed the truck sitting in the driveway, but no one was coming into the house. Assuming that my husband was either finishing a phone call or a conversation, I went back to my dish washing. A few minutes later I heard the door that connects the house to the garage open and then close. I heard voices and turned my head to notice Lydia walking into the kitchen. She immediately spotted me and walked right over to me. Wrapping her arms around my waist, she buried her head in my shirt and began to cry. In a very strained voice she said something about lost babies and being sorry……
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Our Desperate Need
As Lydia and I made our way into the kitchen, I realized that she was right. She had ruined it. Supper was in a steaming pile on the kitchen floor nestled among the shattered glass of the 9x13 pan. Apparently she had attempted to carry supper to the supper table.
Instead of such a “big girl” feat, however, she had dropped everything onto our tiled kitchen floor. This resulted in glass exploding in every possible direction……
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A Lesson From the Birds
And it was there on my back porch where I started hearing the birds. The birds always sing in the morning, I thought to myself. No matter how long of a day I had had the day before, no matter what kind of sleep I had gotten or hadn’t, no matter how well-behaved the children were or weren’t, no matter if I had felt that my husband and I had connected with each other or not…The birds always sing in the morning. It was as if they brought me perspective of a clean slate and a fresh start with each dawn’s cheery song……
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Out of Love
I remember asking myself Why am I doing this? as my gloved hands were rolling the rocks around in the tote of bleach water. It was Monday and I was already tired. So very tired. The previous week had been full - followed by a full weekend. There had been school, and church, and then my children had friends over all Sunday afternoon and evening. I had rested somewhat - but not given myself permission to truly check out……
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Trust Me
We were up as high as he had ever been in his life and it was terrifying to his small, 43-inch tall frame. But what made the next moment remarkable is that I didn’t have to coax him that the elephants could fit and the engineers did a solid job and that the ledge had been intact for 12 years already. All I had to say were two powerful words. Words that I will spend my motherhood building and nurturing… Words that take a lifetime to build and a moment to lose… Words that every healthy relationship requires for it to be of any worth or value.…..
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