But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Matthew 6:3

I woke up early to my Devotion this morning - like I’ve been doing for nearly four consecutive years now. I’ve had Sick Days, Skipped Days, and I’m sure days where it may have been more beneficial for me to stay in bed and get that extra hour of sleep. But regardless, I woke up to the alarm I had set on my phone - and got out of bed to shut it off before waking up my husband. 

I went into the bathroom to pee, brush my teeth, and wash my face. The house was dark and quiet and as I tiptoed down the long hallway, I wondered if it was going to be another cold February day.

I’ve grown very fond of my early morning alarm. I like the dark and quiet and my peaceful alone time with Jesus. Something about being up when no one else is or knows is enjoyable. Kinda like having a secret or something.

In the kitchen, I robotically started a pot of coffee and then went into the office. Turning on the lamp and heater, I sat down on the couch and opened up my Bible and journal. 

Good Morning God. I’m tired today. Will You please help my body wake up so I can receive all that You want to speak to me today? I silently prayed.

The office warmed and I heard my coffee finish brewing in the kitchen. I left to go pour myself a cup and make a piece of raisin cinnamon toast. My favorite.

Spreading a happy amount of butter on my toast, I returned to the office with drink and treat in tow.

I dug into my YouVersion App and began to read my Plans… Parenting by Design, Seeking Approval, Making Time to Rest, and Solid Life “Whole Bible.”

Check, check, check…and nearly check.

The dawn darkness was quickly fading and I realized that it was approaching 7AM. The children would be waking up soon and I needed to hop in the shower and switch gears. There was breakfast to make, chocolate milk to warm, and two school boys to teach Lesson 89 to. 

And yet, I still hadn’t read Matthew 6…  I decided that I could spare another five minutes. 

And I was so glad I did.

Matthew chapter 6 is part of Jesus’ famous “Sermon on the Mount.” And I’ve read it so many times before. And yet, I love it when the Holy Spirit unearths something that you’ve walked past “so many times before” - but haven’t really noticed.

But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret will reward you. 

Matthew 6:3-4

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret will reward you. 

Matthew 6:6

But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen, and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 

Matthew 6:17-18

I couldn’t shake the, "Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret will reward you.”

I knew the text was talking about giving, praying, and fasting, but on this quiet February morning, my very mothering was challenged.

All too often, we want our achievements and accomplishments to be applauded - to be given some form of accolade.

And when we take that very same approach in our mothering, oh boy!, how we set ourselves up for disappointment when there are littles in the house and the “Thanks Mom!” are few and far in between.

Slobbery, wet kisses are wonderful, but when we find ourselves outnumbered and overwhelmed by all the “to-do’s” that accompany this thing called ‘Motherhood’…we can be sourly disappointed when our blood, sweat, and tears goes unnoticed.

When we work for a temporary form of praise - the reward is cheapened. Much like the kind of thing you can get from a quarter machine at a pizza place. Sure, it’s cute…but it breaks the moment you play with it or put it on. And that’s exactly what it feels like when we seek out man’s (or even our children’s) blessing or approval.

We are guilty of thoughts like these:

Did you notice that I stayed up late to wash your laundry? Are you enjoying that clean couch and mopped living room floor? Did you notice that I arranged your books and organized your toys, again? Didn’t I make you a delicious supper!? I even remembered to serve it to you on your favorite-colored plate and cup!

Now, most of us aren’t this brash nor conceited to go around and ask our toddlers or elementary-aged children if they are appreciating all the hard work we are doing at throwing ourselves into being great Moms.

However, this translates - even without words.

…by the way we sigh when another cup of milk spills all over the kitchen counter and floor.

…by the way we hold our breath when we’ve returned them to bed for the fourth time - deeply frustrated because we long for the very bedtime they are eluding!

…by the way we snap at the one who needs something the very moment we sit down to eat. And so, we get up to serve them and then end up eating our meal - cold, dry, burnt, and hard. Again.

And in these moments of our mothering, we have to ask ourselves if we truly believe that God sees it all. 

We also have to ask ourselves if we believe that He truly rewards it all.

Now, I know I’ve read these verses countless times, but this morning felt like I was reading them for the very first time. I felt a fresh excitement and sense of assurance wash over me in my mothering. 

God saw it all! 

Every spill cleaned up. Every surface wiped up. Every diaper changed. Every face and nose wiped. Every sock matched properly. Every stain Shouted out. Every shirt ironed. Every bed made. Every lesson taught and every paper graded. Every doctor and dentist appointment ever scheduled. Every shopping cart spilling over with both children and groceries. Every argument settled. Every tear dried up and every hug and kiss given.

Yes, He’s seen every effort I’ve ever put forth. Every tear I’ve ever shed. And every fear I’ve ever felt. 

I have a God who sees. And so do you!

And the best part of these verses? Not only does He see into the secret places and spaces of our hearts, but He also rewards! 

And when I mother from that posture - I have a greater reward! Because He - and only He - can truly satisfy that deep need to be seen, heard, recognized, and validated.

Him and no one else.

So as you go about your day today, dear Friend, allow me the liberty to insert a word into this verse that’s wrecked me in the best possible way:

But when you [mother] do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your [mothering] may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (brackets mine)

Matthew 6:3